forgive can, forget not a chance babey

i wasnt in their initial plan but due to some difficulties they had, suddenly they asked me to join them. but of course i said no. and i couldnt recall if they went on with their plan. i dont think so. oh whatever. that was a surprise for me but nowadays, it is like a norm. so why should i bother? i just wish that im just as ignorant as other people. my wish might be granted soon! wooshhh

huh hah

how to lose some kilos in two months? i know there are more ways to lose more weight but my aunt once said that, dont lose too much in a blink of an eye or you will gain it back in a wink of an eye. here's what i did and will continue doing until i reach my dream body (ok ok i noe this is impossible but it wont harm trying - ayat penyedap hati).

breakfast
1 or 2 packs of strawberry & blackcurrant oat krunch
plain water
if not enough, some fruits


lunch
strictly no rice
veggies with chicken/fish/meat
plain water


evening (3-4 times a week)
jog for 15 - 20 mins
do some exercises - i love this website!

dont do the same routine of exercise over and over again. be creative and search for something new on the net. hit the gym once in awhile. go for swimming (but i dont think utp swimming pool is suitable since people prefer to just hang around instead of swimming and cause traffic jam.sigh)

dinner
if jog, better eat something but no rice
preferably veggie soup with lemon ice less sugar
if dont, eat fruits or crackers


night 
i just started to do this, in bed! air cycling, crunches, push ups and leg scissor. 

i cheated once in awhile. i did eat some chocs, ice creams, pizza, etc. there is no problem to have them i think as long as you will do something the next day to burn up the calories u just had. take some times to help you body. plus, by doing exercise, it can help clearing up messy mind. health is wealth y'all. have fun with stay healthy!

shoot me

seems like everyone is formspringing, so why wouldn't i, aite? here's your chance to ask me any question, personal, bizarre, ridiculous or whatsoever. will try my best to entertain you guys.

ask me anything yah?

14.04.10

i know he loves me

i know he needs me

i know he wants me

i know he misses me

because

he keeps saying that

he keeps showing that

he keeps assuring that

he keeps proving that

but

i want to be in his arms

i want to feel his touch

i want to kiss him

i want to be with him

because

i feel insecure

i feel doubt

i feel worry

i feel pain

please let the distance cut off by 100%

please let him get a good job here

please let me help him

please let me have him

because we have a plan

to be together

longer than forever

happy 10th months anniversary baby

i love you more than you know

craps

ive been having this feeling since awhile. feeling of hate, feeling of disgust, feeling of loneliness, feeling of boredom, feeling of doubt, feeling of killing someone/some people or at least bitch-slapping. even fb said im depressed. maybe i am. or maybe im just tired of all the shits that have been happening to me.

how i wish i can be just as ignorant as some people. pretending that everything is fine. or just simply care less about the surrounding. unfortunately, ive been given with such a sensitive heart. there are good things that come out of it. and some are bad. and at least, i treat people the way i want them to treat me.

frens said im an outspoken person. yah maybe. you screw me over, i fuck you over twice as bad. it's either i do heart-to-heart or just showing how i feel. and come to think of it, im an outspoken person. i can tell you how many person that have heard my bitchmouth talking to them.

and ive this one particular characteristic. once i hate someone, there is no possible way in making me to like that someone. not ever. ya i can talk with them since there is no harm in doing it but to personally like them, nope. and my list of the-people-i-hate is building up currently. but wait, i dont just hate them for no reason. there is at least one.

ok all the stated above obviously showing how depressed im or can be. i dont find utp as a place that i like anymore. ive been missing home and for the record, ive never been going back home so frequently like this sem. the longer u r with some place, the more u r bored of them. i just can't wait to finally say adios utp, till we never meet again.

whoa ive been talking crap for almost half an hour. ive a quiz coming up tomorrow and im still behind schedule. oh my assignment too. dang. but before i stop, how to overcome doubt and insecurity? strangely ive been feeling it eventhough ive been assured bout that thing. how eh?

ok till next time

signing off

25th of Happiness

Happy 25^th Anniversary

ibu & ayah

wow, 25 years of excellence. ok, ini ayat company. 25 years of sticks and bums, honey and milk, fight and laughter, tears and pain, and yet they are still very much in love with each other. my mom the ngada - ngada, spoilt and manja wife but a fierce mom, my dad the strict and soft, hot temper but a funny guy. and that's how they complement each other.

and here im wishing them both the best of life, health and love. they are the life of my life. and im grateful for being their child. i hope in the next 25 years, we all will celebrate your 50th anniversary! love ibu and love ayah. you guys are the best of the best. muaxx.

it is what it is

it's funny when the older you get, the more childish you be
it's saddening when you give up without trying
it's heartbreaking when the longer you stay, the further you are away
it's sickening to see lies and hates are everywhere
it's annoying when jealousy and envy are taking over you heart
it's revolting to face fyp every fucking day


but


it's definitely exciting to know ive only 5 weeks in utp
it's pleasing to be around the people you love

it's eye-tearing to be far from the one you love too

it's a lollipop to know that he's coming 

it's an ice-cream to feel him in my heart
it's chocolaty to know he loves me too 


and it's tiring to finish up my Chenderoh Field Trip report
zzZzZzZ

ok, how sexy is this???

lady g & anita sarawak

anita sarawak is msia's lady g?

hahahahahaha

son of a byotch

hey you

which part that you dont get? the only, the ultimate sole reason that ive been nice to you is so that i can get back my money. nothing else. why would you expect me to ask about how you are doing, your health and your life everytime i text you? why would you expect me to care about you? why would you get sensitive and merajuk if i didnt bother to ask about you? and do you think i'll make an effort to console you? lemme get this straight, you mean nothing, absolutely worthless to me. so go get bitchy and ngada ngada with someone else. im sooo not into making you feel better. especially to someone like you. and for all i noe starting now, every month im expecting my money from you. and after that, ive no idea who you are.

bbzzzttt

ive been postponing this post since two weeks ago. and since im waiting for someone in IRC and getting bored in each min (and also pissed off and tired of something), why not scramble all these feelings and unleash them. so please be reminded that some contents of this post might be too direct for some people. and why would some people find it too direct? sebab trase la kn.

ok we've been living among intelligent and smart and gifted people. some work their ass off to achieve what they have today and some are just simply special. but no matter how they got what they are now, the one thing that differentiate these people from being liked and disliked is how they share their brains/knowledge and things.

and after 4years, you guys should have known who are and who arent the liked people. i encountered many people yg pandai but somehow they managed to show that they dont believe in" sharing is caring". there was once when we had an argument about accidentally shared answer-booklet but yah whatever. eventhough their reasons were kinda hm-hm but sure.

and i remember asking someone about his assignment but when i tried to take a look at his work, he just hid his answer. this may sound like "so what" but the problem was, the assignment was the computer software and how la aku nak copy assignment ko tuh. and btw, i didnt ask to copy, i were only asking how he did it.

ok moved on from the past. the one that i wna tell you is what had happened to me last two weeks. but it started earlier btw. i asked this particular person a bit about his fyp. and if he happened to have the installer which is ANSYS. and yes, he has it. but once i asked for the installer, he simply ignored my gtalk eventhough he was online all the time. ok fine. then a week later, i gtalked him again and asked if he could assist me in installing ANSYS. once again, he ignored me. and he was online all the time too.

firstly, it was just a fcking installer, not ur fyp reports. secondly, i only asked you to assist me, thats all. if you were busy that time, couldnt you just simply said,"wana, aku bz skng nh. later can?". susah ke nk taip? and when i told my frens about this person, one of them said that "mmg geng dorg macam tuh". she experienced once with one of the geng when she asked about ECONS project (ala, yg korg kne amek senior punye fyp tok jd rujukan tuh) and he just said no to her eventhough he wasnt the one who did the effort to take the fyp thingy. ape busok pnye prangai. not like she wanna copy project ko pun.

hey that geng, yah you might look cool and friendly and sort of things but being a guy and kedek ilmu, thats just a turn off laa. and yes anda semua pandai tapi ape guna pandai melangit tapi xreti nk bantu? da la sesame bangsa kot. mmg la malay mmg suke spoon feeding nh tapiii lemme get this straight. ktrg bukan nk copy tp nk rujukan. we all are not that stupid pun nk photostat sume hasil kerja ko. haish.

and thanks to Akram for helping me with my ANSYS. and for me, Kicap is the best role model. he's smart and doesn't mind to share. mudah - mudahan dipermudahlan urusan kalian and only Allah je yg blh balas. pergh kalu Asba and Kicap bace nh. hahaha.

so sape yg trase, id say, "ade aku kesah time ko xksah?"

Talking laser beam

yes, that's me.

the love

urban dic

when i was reading tasha's blog, i remembered that we used to laugh at how ridiculous urban dic can be. haha. esp when it came to thomas's part. hehe. some of the definitions:

thomas

• a teenage white kid that has an abnormally large penis usually ranging to 7.5 inches to 8 (hahahaha ok no comment. is it true? :P)
• the best boyfriend a girl can ask for. Will do anything for you and will love you with all his heart. Any girl who dates him will be the happiest girl on the planet (yes yes 200% agree with this!!! you are the best syg, you really are! be mine forever yah?)
• a very kind person,always willing to talk, and be there when your down (this is sooo YOU! muaxx)

wana hasnt been defined yet. sigh. well at least im not common. haha ini ayat kaber semata2. so i made up my own version of definitions :P

• a girl who is madly in love which you have no idea how goo goo ga ga she can be with thomas
• average body. haha perlukah?
• can be as kind as she wants too and as bitch as she is willing to
• and yes, can be a talking laser-beam. bzzzzttttt

have fun checking on your names!

press one

have i told you guys that Pn Norra aka my mom can be cute and funny sometimes? i got a call from her this evening and here what happened.

me: please press 1 to redial

[silence]

me: we havent heard any response from you. please press 1 to redial

[teeeettt]

hahahahah. she pressed the button for real! and she tot she dialed the wrong num. hayo ibu. can you be any cuter?

and its name is PINKY

ive a new baby. yes yes, and im excited about it because it's PINK. a dem howt pink. im head over heels with its cute pinky housing and wow-ed by the functions it has. it's time, but actually when i come to think about it, it's ady an overdue for a camwhore like me to have my very own cam. sigh. better late than never aite? so snap snap!

14.03.10

he might not remember what perfumes i wear

he might not remember the name of my shampoo

he might not remember my phone's number

but

he does remember what i wore

on our dates, to office, everywhere

he does remember what ive said

when we were out, argue, talk

he does remember what i did

almost everything

and for that

i love him more than before

even more than he loves me

there are just too many reasons

for me to keep on falling for him

and it never stops

dearest thomas kremser

nur hazwana loves you

sangat - sangat!

ninth month hu?

woot woot

big Xs

even bigger Os!