rindu dia!

he was on shopping spree, on groceries. then he text me;

"reached gym. when i was at the supermarket i thought it would be be quite funny to shop with you and choose what to eat... but then i realized that i was alone. hu"

:'(

i miss that too syg. esp when we were around the curve searching for food and you let me decide what i feel like eating. when we were at giant and bought chocs, drinks and snacks for our home-movie. when we were searching for your shoes for two days in a row and how fussy you were. when we went to bazar ramadhan and how excited you were about murtabak. huuuu

we will do that again soon yah? 

come back soon bitte!!!

muax 

muax

forever yours

rude boy

Come here, rude boy, boy; can you get it up?
Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?

Take it, take it baby, baby
Take it, take it; love me, love me
Tonight I'ma let you be the captain
Tonight I'ma let you do your thing, yeah
Tonight I'ma let you be a rider
Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up babe

Tonight I'ma let it be fire
Tonight I'ma let you take me higher
Tonight, baby, we could get it on, yeah, we could get it on, yeah

Do you like it?
Boy, I want, want, want whatchu want, want, want
Give it to me, baby like boom, boom, boom
What I want, want, want is what you want, want, want

Tonight I'ma give it to ya harder
Tonight I'ma turn ya body out
Relax; let me do it how I wanna
If you got it I need it and I'ma put it down
Buckle up; I'ma give it to ya stronger
Hands up; we could go a little longer
Tonight I'ma get a little crazy, get a little crazy, baby
Like it?

Boy, I want, want, want whatchu want, want, want
Give it to me, baby like boom, boom, boom
What I want, want, want is what you want, want, want
Nah nah-ah

I like the way you touch me there
I like the way you pull my hair
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking, no, no
I like when you tell me 'kiss you there'
I like when you tell me 'move it there'
So giddy-up; time to get it up: you say you a rude boy: show me what you got now
Come here right now

Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it, love me, love me

explicit, yes. and im loving every bit of it :P

mimpi itu indah dari realiti

i put down the pen and walked right into my bed and closed my eyes. tot of resting for two or three mins but instead, i slept off through the night. and i had dreams. dreams that ive been hoping to be real ones.

• ati told me that he met a guy that said he could help me with my fyp without any charges. you've no idea how happy i was in that dream.
• some frens of mine are back together as in be fren again. they laughed and they could talk without awkwardness.

but all that dreams shattered once i opened my eyes and realised that it was just a dream. but who knows that these dreams might work out someday. pressing my thumbs for it to happen!

stupid dare II

it doesnt take that long for me to reach my phone and dialed his num. hearing his voice and his laughter, ok that's the purpose of my life now. fine fine, i lost the dare, my own dare. haish. there goes my pride, thanx to him! and i hate him for that, pap pap pap! so now we both know who has more love for each other hu? wont fall for your lies anymore whenever you say you love me much much more. bluek!

but, knowing that he suffered as much as i did (see below as prove-haha), that wasnt so bad losing :P

Sweeeeetheart, I loooove you soooo much and I was missing you like hell. You
know usually I only pick up in serious situations at work (like when you are
about to cry) and I felt this was a serious one, so I didn't hesitated to
pick up. Hayo all the time I thought about if I should be mad at you for
making out such a ... *piep*... dare or if it's just fun for you and I would
treat you unfair if I'm mad at you. Fuh Thank God you called! Unfortunately
I forwarded your Email laughing and with tears in my mind to my home address
that I won't fall for the temptation to reply them. Sorry for causing you
troubles, but now there is a RM0 debt on my dare account towards you hahaha.

Hayo... Harded times ever and thank god most of that time I slept!!! So a
little advantage for me in comparision with you.
How was your day so far? In the morning I checked your blog... nothing new
so far, but your FB says you were missing a part of you... and I was close
to reply.
Instead of I posted "BBD - Poison" on my FB wall to show "that Girl is
poison ... miss her kiss her love her" - basically just about that quote not
the general content.

Love you.. thanks for giving up, cause I was close about!!!! *muax*

lalalalala. now i can study OM with big smile in my face. thanx to him for making my day like always.

i love you sweetiepie

*muax*

stupid dare

my baby and i were chatting last nite and out of sudden a 'dare' came up-as always. well, i did suggest that stupid dare that i will ignore him for 1 week and if i did, he will have to give me rm0.50. and he upgraded the 'incentive' to rm2.50 and additional of 1 week coz he's gonna be mad at me for ignoring him the whole 1 week. i said the dare will start at 8am my time and he said, it's unfair coz i will have the chance to give him my last sms (kiut btw syg). so we started at 12am my time, which means yday.

first of all, i know this is going to be hard for me and him. but who will tot that this is the hardest thing ever? well, apart of being away from him of course. waking up without sms from him saying he loves me, no fb notifications before he goes to work and no spams in my inbox from him. and to make things worse, we didnt even fight! hayo, syg syg, plz surrender and say you love me, plsshhhhh. we will share the rm2.50 ek? but im the winner lah ek. plz? can can? im almost dying here. you need me alive right? huuu saya rindu awak laaaaaa :'(

come back to me, will ya baby?

truthfully,

forever yours

do's and don'ts of malay culture

malay culture is full of traditions, dos and donts, language etc. when we were small, our parents always said "eh jangan wat mcm tu, nanti...". if there is no air velocity, how come the tree is vibrating (sasteragineer). what im trying to say is, there is a reason for everything. for examples:

• jangan potong kuku time maghrib, nanti kne kejar harimau - sumpah i fell for this. the reason for this is because once upon a time, there was no electricity and people relied on lampu tanah equal to malap - malap. maka if you clip your fingernails that time, you might terclip benda len plak kan.
• jangan duduk atas bantal, kang bisol bontot - again, i fell for this. reason is that it is not respectful to sit on something you use for your head.
• anak dara jangan nyanyi time masak, nanti xde org nak - ok tang nh ak xcaya. haha. the reason is because takot anak anak virgin nh kusyuk sgt nyanyi sampai leka ikan hangus ke ape kan. tapi aku rase more to takot air liur curah curah kot.
• abeskn nasi, kalau tak beliau nangis - haaa nh peringatan yer. kalu agak agak tak pat abeskan tu, mtk la separuh. xbek bazir bazir. anak afghan xmakan tau. ksimpulannya, untuk elakkan pembaziran. bazir kan amalan syaitan laknatullah.
• jangan buka payung dalam umah, nanti ular masuk - apokobonda ko nak berpayung dalam umah jang oi. lenlah bumbung bocor. reason is to prevent nate tajam kat payung cucuk mata.
• jangan makan pindah pindah tempat, kang laki byk - wow, cam best jeh. haha. ok xmo xmo. reason is kan tak sopan makan pindah pindah. tambah plak makan sepah sepah. da tambah kerja nk kmas. 
• jangan intai, kang mata ketumbit - perlu explain ke?

tapi there are some pantang larang yang until now ak xphm di mana letak logik or reasonable fact. such as:

• jangan tunding kat pelangi, nanti jari kudung
• jangan angkat kaki time meniarap, nati mak mati

and ak xphm npe kalu xnk the same thing berlaku, org ckp "xnk pisang berbuah dua kali". i asked this to mak (grandma) and she said,

mak: mane ade pisang buah dua kali

aku: tapi kan lagi untung kalu dapat pisang dua kali. nape org xnk plak?

mak: sebab benda tu xpnah jadi

abah : kire org xnk bnde pelik jadi lagi skali (atuk ak tbe2 berkata)

aku: mmg la pelik tapi nape org xnk pisang dua kali? rugi la kalu skli jeh. ana rase org zaman dulu salah guna peribahasa nh.

ok tibe tibe aku rase aku dirasuk eva time tnye banyak banyak begitu. so basically, malay culture sgt unik and pnuh dgn hemah temah, budi bahasa and lemah lembut gtu auwww. suke suke tapi xsuke pemikiran malay yg masih ortodox smpi skng. tapi xsume la, seteng jeh. oh oh nak selitkan antara dialog yg ak leh recall antara aku and perempuan malay terakhir.

eva: wana, batu api tu ape?

wana: eva, kepala batu tu ape?

eva: kepala yg dibuat dari batu kan?

speaker: saya menyusun sepuluh jari mohon ampun dan maaf blablabla

eva: nape kne susun sepuluh jari? (sambil tengok jari jari beliau)

apiz: aah knape nk kne susun? (nh lagi sekor)

-_-"

forgive can, forget not a chance babey

i wasnt in their initial plan but due to some difficulties they had, suddenly they asked me to join them. but of course i said no. and i couldnt recall if they went on with their plan. i dont think so. oh whatever. that was a surprise for me but nowadays, it is like a norm. so why should i bother? i just wish that im just as ignorant as other people. my wish might be granted soon! wooshhh

huh hah

how to lose some kilos in two months? i know there are more ways to lose more weight but my aunt once said that, dont lose too much in a blink of an eye or you will gain it back in a wink of an eye. here's what i did and will continue doing until i reach my dream body (ok ok i noe this is impossible but it wont harm trying - ayat penyedap hati).

breakfast
1 or 2 packs of strawberry & blackcurrant oat krunch
plain water
if not enough, some fruits


lunch
strictly no rice
veggies with chicken/fish/meat
plain water


evening (3-4 times a week)
jog for 15 - 20 mins
do some exercises - i love this website!

dont do the same routine of exercise over and over again. be creative and search for something new on the net. hit the gym once in awhile. go for swimming (but i dont think utp swimming pool is suitable since people prefer to just hang around instead of swimming and cause traffic jam.sigh)

dinner
if jog, better eat something but no rice
preferably veggie soup with lemon ice less sugar
if dont, eat fruits or crackers


night 
i just started to do this, in bed! air cycling, crunches, push ups and leg scissor. 

i cheated once in awhile. i did eat some chocs, ice creams, pizza, etc. there is no problem to have them i think as long as you will do something the next day to burn up the calories u just had. take some times to help you body. plus, by doing exercise, it can help clearing up messy mind. health is wealth y'all. have fun with stay healthy!

shoot me

seems like everyone is formspringing, so why wouldn't i, aite? here's your chance to ask me any question, personal, bizarre, ridiculous or whatsoever. will try my best to entertain you guys.

ask me anything yah?

14.04.10

i know he loves me

i know he needs me

i know he wants me

i know he misses me

because

he keeps saying that

he keeps showing that

he keeps assuring that

he keeps proving that

but

i want to be in his arms

i want to feel his touch

i want to kiss him

i want to be with him

because

i feel insecure

i feel doubt

i feel worry

i feel pain

please let the distance cut off by 100%

please let him get a good job here

please let me help him

please let me have him

because we have a plan

to be together

longer than forever

happy 10th months anniversary baby

i love you more than you know

craps

ive been having this feeling since awhile. feeling of hate, feeling of disgust, feeling of loneliness, feeling of boredom, feeling of doubt, feeling of killing someone/some people or at least bitch-slapping. even fb said im depressed. maybe i am. or maybe im just tired of all the shits that have been happening to me.

how i wish i can be just as ignorant as some people. pretending that everything is fine. or just simply care less about the surrounding. unfortunately, ive been given with such a sensitive heart. there are good things that come out of it. and some are bad. and at least, i treat people the way i want them to treat me.

frens said im an outspoken person. yah maybe. you screw me over, i fuck you over twice as bad. it's either i do heart-to-heart or just showing how i feel. and come to think of it, im an outspoken person. i can tell you how many person that have heard my bitchmouth talking to them.

and ive this one particular characteristic. once i hate someone, there is no possible way in making me to like that someone. not ever. ya i can talk with them since there is no harm in doing it but to personally like them, nope. and my list of the-people-i-hate is building up currently. but wait, i dont just hate them for no reason. there is at least one.

ok all the stated above obviously showing how depressed im or can be. i dont find utp as a place that i like anymore. ive been missing home and for the record, ive never been going back home so frequently like this sem. the longer u r with some place, the more u r bored of them. i just can't wait to finally say adios utp, till we never meet again.

whoa ive been talking crap for almost half an hour. ive a quiz coming up tomorrow and im still behind schedule. oh my assignment too. dang. but before i stop, how to overcome doubt and insecurity? strangely ive been feeling it eventhough ive been assured bout that thing. how eh?

ok till next time

signing off

25th of Happiness

Happy 25^th Anniversary

ibu & ayah

wow, 25 years of excellence. ok, ini ayat company. 25 years of sticks and bums, honey and milk, fight and laughter, tears and pain, and yet they are still very much in love with each other. my mom the ngada - ngada, spoilt and manja wife but a fierce mom, my dad the strict and soft, hot temper but a funny guy. and that's how they complement each other.

and here im wishing them both the best of life, health and love. they are the life of my life. and im grateful for being their child. i hope in the next 25 years, we all will celebrate your 50th anniversary! love ibu and love ayah. you guys are the best of the best. muaxx.

it is what it is

it's funny when the older you get, the more childish you be
it's saddening when you give up without trying
it's heartbreaking when the longer you stay, the further you are away
it's sickening to see lies and hates are everywhere
it's annoying when jealousy and envy are taking over you heart
it's revolting to face fyp every fucking day


but


it's definitely exciting to know ive only 5 weeks in utp
it's pleasing to be around the people you love

it's eye-tearing to be far from the one you love too

it's a lollipop to know that he's coming 

it's an ice-cream to feel him in my heart
it's chocolaty to know he loves me too 


and it's tiring to finish up my Chenderoh Field Trip report
zzZzZzZ

ok, how sexy is this???

lady g & anita sarawak

anita sarawak is msia's lady g?

hahahahahaha

son of a byotch

hey you

which part that you dont get? the only, the ultimate sole reason that ive been nice to you is so that i can get back my money. nothing else. why would you expect me to ask about how you are doing, your health and your life everytime i text you? why would you expect me to care about you? why would you get sensitive and merajuk if i didnt bother to ask about you? and do you think i'll make an effort to console you? lemme get this straight, you mean nothing, absolutely worthless to me. so go get bitchy and ngada ngada with someone else. im sooo not into making you feel better. especially to someone like you. and for all i noe starting now, every month im expecting my money from you. and after that, ive no idea who you are.