gossips on hari raya!

hope it's still not too late to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya Aidifitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. 20-09-2009, great number eh? after fasting for almost a month(ehem2), it's time to celebrate. ok, cut the crap. lets move on to the main topic. events that had happened during my celebration at kampong really trigger my inner sense. well, it's kampong. they don't need streamyx to spread the words. so what's up?

First

people getting slimmer, not because they went for jogging or work out but DIABETES. a close relative of mine couldn't get his hand off a can of drink. at least one/day. and his recent reading for sugar in blood is 25! honestly, i dont really know what 25 means till my dad said that the level should be lower than 5. hua, 5x higher than the healthy one!

Second

fell sick and not sure why. been said that he was admitted to ICU, cannot walk, he lost lot of weight. and yeah, he doesnt seem good to me, the condition i mean. and it's all started when he peed at a rumpunan bamboo. there is a busut (what eh in english?) near the bamboo thingy. and malays do believe (including me) that there is another world, the unseen world living around us. so maybe, maybe he accidently peed without permission at the "unseen thing's house" and as the result, he fell sick. but we can't say it for sure right. everything happens for a reason and only God knows what why and how. wallahualam. hopefully he gets well soon!

Third

ok we are used to hear people saying that they got confused or couldn't figure out who is the youngest and the eldest. and i usually will be either the youngest(phewwitt) or the second doter. and im also used when people said that my face a bit diff from the rest which i dont know why. i do look like my mum (eva said) and my dad (the skin mostly-haha) BUT this was really2 unexpected. we went to this one relative's house. in fact, this is the first time i went there. after they chitchatting, the relative asked my dad,

"anak ko dua je ke bol?"

huaaaaa. i was right in front of him!! he said my face is totally diff from my parents!huuuu.

Fourth

this one is about my uncle. lemme tell you briefly bout him ek. he doesnt mind buying cheap clothes as long as it's comfortable. he wears shirt and jeans, not so smart looking. his hair is almost grey, his teeth is hmm, lets just say a smoker's teeth-type, rounded belly and quite dark. and he looks older than his age. he's 46, i think. should be younger than my mom since he's my mom's younger bro. the stories were told by his wife (a very cool and funny aunty!)

few years ago, my uncle and my grandma(mak) went to the clinic. and the nurse asked her,

"suami nenek ek?"

few months ago, when mak was admitted to the hospital, my uncle came to visit her. and there was a nyonya next to her bed. mak told that nyonya that my uncle work with Petronas. and that nyonya said,

"owh, you bwk lori minyak petronas ek?"

not so long time ago, he went for fishing and met new friends there. when they asked what he's doing for a living, he answered he works in UTP. and they asked,

"ko keje security guard ke?"

at one of the ConvoFair in UTP, he was sitting under a tent waiting for his wife, where somewhere nearby there was a decorating cake competition. suddenly a ConvoFair committee (a student) approached him and asked,

"pakcik tanak cuba masuk pertandingan hias kek ke?"

he looked at that student and said,

"ko cube tanya org kat dpn tu sape saya."

so that student went and asked. after awhile, that student looked at my uncle and walked away.

haha. i dont have to tell what my uncle does in UTP but enough said that he's not what people expect him to be. dont judge the book by its cover. wink wink. but it's funny though. hahaha

Fifth

a pakcik was hit by a mat rempit. and he lost some of his fingers and broke his hand. i dont really understand how it happened but as told by my mom, after being hit, both mat rempit and that pakcik fell. since the mat rempit was with his friends, they called up some more friends to help the mat rempit one. as expected, they left the pakcik, alone, by himself. bodo pnye mat rempit. xabes2 nk nyusahkan org. try to imagine if your own dad was hit and left alone like that. ad akal letak kt lutut. bongok!

Sixth

"air dicincang xkan putus. tapi kalu air batu,kompem putus"
"dlm byk2 bas, bas ape yg gagap? bas KKKL"
"dlm byk2 wilayah, wilayah ape yg xda sempadan? wilayah celcom"

(lot more jokes that i heard during hari raya but can't recall them.heehoo)

anyway, i had fun! especially when it comes to duit raya! who would imagine a 21-YO like me still get duit raya huh?lalalalala

seminar

not experienced this thing myself but by my lovely fren. here how the story goes. tersebutlah kisah di mana student2 final year dikehendakkan tok bagi seminar. maka dgn itu, sahabat saya ini, biarlah saya namekan dia Si Manis bersungguh2lah membuat slides dan study psl project dia nh. mmg hebatlah (xmcm sy la mksdnye).

dgn berbekalkan laptop pinjam, diusungnyalah beg seberat beras tu kehulu kehilir sb sebelum seminar tu beliau ade kelas. angkara kemalasan nk kembali ke blk tok amek laptop, maka dgn itulah sbnye beliau mengcarry laptop itu.

berbalik kepada cerita asal, sesudah seminar itu, beliau kembali tok pulangkan laptop. menurut beliau, hanya satu examiner aka lecturer je yg dtg. yg lg sorg, tak dtg wlopn da dikol berkali2. kesudahannya, beliau terpaksa la set a new date tok seminar dgn that particular examiner. hmm, lets us call him Mr Mo.

few mins later, sy terdengar jeritan dr blk J yg panjang. hempasan pintu jgn dibilang kekuatannya. and guess what? Mr Mo called her and asked her to come to his office now to do the seminar (sabar2, jgn carut lg.bulan pose nh). dgn hati dan kaki yg berat dan menyampahkn, beliau terpaksa p ke opis Mr Mo.

seketika kmudian, dtg satu msg dr beliau mengatakan, Mr Mo cuma panggil dia dtg sb nk ckp esk br wt seminar tu dgn dia.

okeh okeh
mari sumpah seranah ramai2
mmg cekgu patot dihormati
tp klu da bijak tahap phD tp perangai cam bangang?
mmg student is wayyy below his level
but does that give him the right to serve us like a jackass?
c'mon la
bulan pose kot
pekejadah nk wat org susah
klu ye pn nk set time, mcm xleh ckp dlm emel jeh
haaa handphone pn ad
haishhhhh

sekian, trimas

14.09.09

the day finally came. the day i teared. the day of our last hug and kiss. the day i need to let you leave. that day, 15.09.09, the day you went away. the day that i will start counting. will not stop until i see you again. holding a huge luggage and smiling at me. in front of the arrival gate. soon. and on that day, you will give back my heart. i will give yours as well. till then, i'm here, waiting for you.

happy 3rd anniversary syg
i love you
i miss you

His blue eyes

The longer I stare, the more I melt

Not looking at them makes me sad

Missing the “eye game” that we had

And he won coz he has longer eyelash

His long nose

He bragged about it all the time

But still he kissed the short nose of mine

It poked my cheeks but I don’t mind

Coz it is his and it’s so fine

His pink lips

Not as red as someone else’s (haha)

But still it got me speechless

Feels so soft tastes so fierce

That’s what keeping me breathless

His muscle boobs

Another thing that he bragged about

Perfect punch bag when it is hard

Perfect jelly when it is not

And perfect spot to hear his heart

His flat tyre

Lovehandle, that’s what people called

And maybe that’s why he has a lot

And sigh he still looking so hot

Coz he has a body of a jock (uweekk)

His bumpy tummy

Mine is bumpier, I know that!

But you should listen his tummy’s rap

Kruk kruk kruk is the sound it made

Syg, make sure you don’t eat too late

He’s mine

Regardless how he is as stated

To have him, I’m so damn lucky

Can’t wait for another date

Come back soon my baby monkey

fuck you

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you

ibu syg

we were gossiping as always and this particular subject came up. it was about how some moms or parents totally dont give a fuck about their children. they cursed them bad words like bodo, nyusahkan makbapak, anak haram (well, kire ko lah salah sb hasilkan anak haram) and so on. that makes me realize how lucky am i to have Mr Kabol and Pn Norra as my birthparents (bajet cam ad makbapak len je). ya ya, im the one who rebel too much and whatsoever but that doesn't mean i dont love them aite?

anyhow, i remembered the incident of Mustapha Kamal's doter (cant recall her name) who had been suspected to commit suicide by jumping off the balcony. and the "mom" cried at her funeral and said that they were besfren blablabla. and the very next weekend, Melodi showed some of closest friends and relatives of the deceased talked about how fucked up the "mom" treated her doter. there was once (they said) when the "momSTER" locked her doter in the balcony at 3am with only wearing short pants and spag. and there was an incident when the "momSTER" said,"aku haramkan susu aku yang ko minum."

for the love of God, what kind of mother would say something like that to her very own doter? the one that she gave birth. we all know as Muslim, whatever comes out from our mom is a pray. if it's a bad one, then the bad one will happen. but yeah, we dont know what might the deceased did or said to her mom but whatever reason-shit it is, how come you as a mom would has the tummy to curse and jinx ur own child?geezz. and while we were discussing (diskus la sgt) this,

jojo: imagine kalau ade mak haramkan susu yang dia bg kat anak dia, tibe2 anak dia ckp,"bukan dlu mak bg susu nespray je ke?"

hahahaha

moral of the story: bagi anak minum susu badan. susu lembu kan xsebagus susu ibu.nyum2

oh wait, there was a text msg from my mom when we were talking about the issue. i asked her what brand of rice that she gave to me coz my frens all said that the rice looked nice.

ana: beras ape yg ibu pakai? kwn2 ana sume ckp beras tu cantek n gemuk
ibu: name beras tu Norra. samelah mcm tuannya. (she was referring to the cantek n gemuk thingy)

-_-"

heart them

"my mother had been all over me as a kid- advice, criticism, the whole smothering mothering thing. there were times I wished she would leave me alone. but then she did. she died. no more visits, no more phone calls."

"you can be a mama's boy or a daddy's boy. but you can't be both."




"thoroughly thought through"

a series of unfortunate events (cont'd)

-set alarm at 00:00
-woke up at 02:00
-left at 03:30
-2mins later, the tire punctured, again
-left for mamak at 04:00
-left for "that place" at 04:30
-got lost somewhere
-found out there was something like wire-brush metal popped out from the exhaust pipe thingy
-sodomized by a honda at somewhere
-the trunk couldn't be closed
-finally arrived at 15:30, phew!
-realized that all the pics taken were gone coz of SD card failure
-zzZzzZz
-"yiepiieee!!"
-zzzZzzz
-another "yiepiieee!!"
-accidently hit a rock and bled my foot
-left at 17:00
-heavy rain half the way back,haiyo
-alhamdulillah, selamat sampai ke pangkal jalan

next time, we are taking airplane, ok?

psst, and i look like a dark choc right now!

anak warisan

we were chatting (or gossiping) in eva's room. suddenly i remembered that i saw one of the lecturer (cute one) with her sons and i told them that her sons are not as cute as the mom. so the three of us started to imagine how our children (mmg kuat berangan pon) will look like. mata coklat, rambut brunette, tinggi, segala2nye la. out of sudden,

eva: blh x kalau ak nk mtk anak ak normal je? ade 10 kaki, 10 jari.

hahahaha.ye ye, normallah sgt eva yer.mmg anak ko mewarisi sifat2 normal dr ko tuh.

some facts about Chuck Norris (CN)

• CN uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks
• the Great Wall of China was originally created to keep CN out. it failed miserably
• most people have 23 pairs of chromosome. CN has 72 and they are all poisonous
• police label anyone attacking CN as Code 45-11...a suicide
• there is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals CN allows to live
• a handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to CN and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• if you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
• CN once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• time waits for no man. Unless that man is CN
• there is no 'ctrl' button on CN's computer. CN is always in control
• CN destroyed the periodic table coz he only recognizes the element of surprise
• CN can kill two stones with one bird
• when the Boogeyman goes to sleep everynite, he checks his closet for CN
• CN doesnt read books. he stares them down until he gets the information he wants
• outer space exists coz it's afraid to be on the same planet with CN
• CN counted to infinity - twice
• when CN does push up, he's not lifting his body up. he's pushing the earth down
• CN doesnt wear watch. he decides what time it is

a series of unfortunate events

it's 20:40 and we were driving like 100km/h so that we could reach UTP in time for Amy Search concert. and i asked him to drive slower coz we need to turn left after this and he did. and before that very turn, i had this instinct to tell him to be more careful coz it was a very sharp one but i didn't know why i just kept it to myself. and we turned. with speed. and dush dush! we hit a hole, harshly. we stopped and checked the tyre and lalalala, it was punctured. poor Bubble!

so he jacked up the car to change the tyre. half way done, the car moved forward coz he forgot to pull the hand brake (haha). so he tried again and after few minutes, the tyre was ready. with happy face, got into the car and i tried to start the engine but it didnt work. panick attack! what now? oh, he forgot to put to "P" when turning off the car. haha.

so we drove again. weirdly, the alignment of the car was unstable and there was still sound from the tyre. we got down and checked, the front tyre was flat too. haha. we stopped again and i called Alvin if i could borrow his spare tyre and he's willing to come to rescue us. phew~

and to add to this event, it was raining. to be safe, i switched on my emergency light. so we sat there,waiting and sharing one umbrella (romantic heh?haha). and the best part was, we were stucked right in front of a kedai batu nesan. how spooky can it be huh? after an hour waiting, got a call from Ati asking where we at. and seemed like we had a miscom and they were somewhere around batu gajah. haha.

while waiting for our rescue rangers, he noticed that the car's light was dimming and we turned off the battery. tried to start again and it failed! gosh, what a package! called Ati if Alvin had a jumper and he didn't. and since my handphone's battery died (great), i didn't have any contact so we waited for them to come first. thank God they finally there and we made some calls for help and luckily Peke has a jumper.

so we were saved by our generous, kind and superduper awesome friends! thanx Alvin, Ati, Rain and Peke! but anyway, there is no one that i would want to be stranded with other than him. wink wink.

chocs!

i was walking from my car after sending back my love one to train station with one hand holding my handphone and carkey and the other one hugging a pillow and a blanket (he borrowed it). few steps later, i felt my foot kicked something and i looked at it, it was a chocolate bar (cadbury black foredst-my fav!). and i was wondering, whose chocolate was that and kept staring at it for few seconds coz it was so sexy before i decided to keep on walking and ignored the chocolate.

after reaching at my room, i hugged the pillow to smell it (and yes syg, u smell so good) and i just realized that there was a white toblerone laying there. and i laughed out loud coz i knew that it was from him. but then i stopped and remembered about the sexy cadbury. it was mine!huuuuuuu. i was not sure whether to go back to the parking place or not coz i knew it wont survive from car crashing on it. but i decided to run for it and pressing my thumbs so hard that the chocolate is still there.

and yes it was!but but but.huuuuuuuuu. you should know what happened to the sexy one right? there was even a tire mark on the chocolate.wuwue. (psst, i still keep it in a jar)

im sorry syg! you should had told me that there were something between the pillow!ggggrrrrr.haha

baby, you are sweeter than chocolates. too sweet for me! muax muax muax!

14.08.09

hey monkey! it's two months ady. sigh, time flies too fast huh? i'm glad that we survived (rephrase ur sentence back, not copying but pasting) and i want to say that you make me feel like myself and happier than ever. yeah sure we fought a lot coz you always think that you are the boss while you are the one who keep on losing to me. be a good and obedient staff next time, will ya? or you are FIRED!

anyway, thanx lah for keeping me flying high whenever you are with me (like every second coz you are in my heart) and understand me and never complain (a lie!) about me being a girl. ha-ha. only a gal understand another gal right? hey my favourite and only boyfriend, you know how much i love you (more than you love me and don't argue!) and you means the world to me.

ok i should stop now or someone will getting fatter in some parts. sigh

i love you
ich liebe dich
saya cinta awak

cuckoo-weng-weng

we wanted to watch The Proposal but since the only time slot left was at 1755, so we decided to watch G.I Joe instead. The movie was okay (love their hot bods) but the storyline was a bit, hurm, so-so. I was confused the first 10mins but it's getting better after that. anyway, it's not the movie that I wanna talk about. It's what happened during the movie.

there was a chinese couple in front of us and i noticed that few minutes after the movie started, her seat was jerked and i tot i saw she seemed mad at her bf. marriage crisis maybe. not my problem, so i concentrated on the movie again. but i couldn't took my eyes of how she distanced herself from the bf. and it was funny how she did that.

anyway, 10mins before the movie ended ( i think), suddenly her seat was once again jerked, TWICE. my bf and i were looking at each other and he asked,"what is she doing?". i couldn't stop myself from giggling. and suddenly, that girl turned at us and said," jgn tendang kerusi blh x?" with a furious face.

and we were stunned of her action and said nothing. she looked back at the movie and tried to sit straight to block thomas's view from the movie, which was hilarious (maybe she didn't realise that thomas is not a malay and too tall for his view to be blocked by her- blonde moment i guess for her). and her bf tried to pull her back and after she did that, i came forward to tell her that my bf didn't kick her seat.

guess she didn't hear that, she turned again and said something again but i couldn't hear it too. then her bf looked at me and said something too and i said,"he didn't even touch her seat." but well, i decided that there was no point of explaining something to them since we didn't do anything wrong. we leaned back and looked at each other and started laughing. we continued watching the movie.

anyway, she changed her seat with her bf and thomas said,"she's paranoid." when the movie ended (finally), i wanted to wait for them to leave first so that i could see their faces and maybe gave them a little laugh about their stupidity. thomas asked if he should kick her seat and he had no problem to do that. ha-ha syg.

we sat that for few minutes but seemed like they didn't want to move either. rather than wasting our time, we finally moved and i laughed and said "stupid" on my way out of the seat (just to let them hear it). once we were out of the cinema, i couldn't stop laughing.

was she having an epileptic disorder or seizure? or she's imagining that she was in the movie and had to move to feel it real? and maybe she kicked her own seat and tot that someone did it. was the seat haunted? did someone died on that very seat? so many reasons to be related to this incident. maybe a thorough investigation should be done.

all i can say is, she's **i**** and that's why she acted like that.

si pantat shah

easier life without you is what i tot i will get once we are no more an item. but seems like you can't just let me be happy and you can't work your brain properly. but wait, since when you have a brain? you are a stupid moron, failed most of ur SPM subjects, can't speak/understand english, don't even have a driving license coz u failed twice (OMG, what a loser!) and the best part is, you like to dream about having new bike, new handphone and whatever shit but you've got only like what, rm20 in ur account? for fuck sake, you are a man and please be one and stand on ur fucking stinky feet. you are annoyingly sensitive for your own feeling and dont give a shit about others, a very narrow minded dickhead or basically, you are a failure.

eh fucker, gimme back my money! and i siyesly dont understand why would you want to threat me. you are the one who owe me my money and now you blackmailing me?that just shows how dumb you can be. like siyesly, work something with your stupidity and stop being worse than a pussy. it's not like i ask for my money right after you borrow it. it's been 3months of shit with your excuses that you can't pay. and tarraa, you told me you are getting engaged soon with a girl that is sooo not up to my level. and please ask her not to wear 3-inches makeup. and wow, you have money to get engaged but can't afford to pay my fucking rmXXX?

nape ko xmampos je tme ko lahir dlu? idup nyusahkan org. kecik2 xnk kojol.pukemak hancing punye bahlol.

bingung sy

sy ingt kejujuran adalah polisi terbaek. tp nmpknye xleh diaplikasikan dlm sume hal. sy cume ingin menjadi diri sy iaitu berkongsi perkara dan tidak menyembunyikan ape2. tp pas sy cube dua kali, ianya tak memberikan respon yg sy inginkan atau sangkakan. kesimpulannye, sy xleh jujur sgt. kadangkala, sembunyikan sesuatu adalah lebih baek dr memberitahu.