some facts about Chuck Norris (CN)

• CN uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks
• the Great Wall of China was originally created to keep CN out. it failed miserably
• most people have 23 pairs of chromosome. CN has 72 and they are all poisonous
• police label anyone attacking CN as Code 45-11...a suicide
• there is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals CN allows to live
• a handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to CN and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• if you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
• CN once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• time waits for no man. Unless that man is CN
• there is no 'ctrl' button on CN's computer. CN is always in control
• CN destroyed the periodic table coz he only recognizes the element of surprise
• CN can kill two stones with one bird
• when the Boogeyman goes to sleep everynite, he checks his closet for CN
• CN doesnt read books. he stares them down until he gets the information he wants
• outer space exists coz it's afraid to be on the same planet with CN
• CN counted to infinity - twice
• when CN does push up, he's not lifting his body up. he's pushing the earth down
• CN doesnt wear watch. he decides what time it is